John Siewert's Portfolio Cover Sheet

My journey all started here with a really really rough First Draft

Before any remixes were completed I added a little more detail to my story as seen here in a slightly less rough Second Draft.

I have to admit, I really enjoyed the remix process. I think I preferred remixing other story's more than messing with my own. I also got a kick out of reading the remixes of my story that my classmates composed.

Farrah was the first to post her remix. She stuck to grammar and phrasing changes, which I found really useful. The most important thing I was able to take from it was my word choice in a couple places that left my audience slightly confused. I added a "definition" of our use of the word tasking in the Air Force as a deployment order to help clarify.

Scott was the second to post his remix. I thoroughly enjoyed his take on it. He really spiced it up with his sense of humor and made me look further into my word choice, mainly my use of adjectives. I wanted to use all the changes he suggested, but ended up selecting only bits and pieces - illustrating my futile attempt of holding on to my original story.

Afram posted his remix last, and unfortunately after I had completed my final narrative, so I was unable to take much from it....yet. I guess this will still be a work in progress. We had talked however about some of the things he ended up changing during the hardcopy edit exercise and it was helpful to see it in a remix. The changes I see as most useful were my preconceived notions of military life and some kind of wrap-up at the end.

So here we are with a Highly polished Final Copy

complete with a fancy cover-page and ready for further scrutiny.

Here are the remixes I did of your stories:

Remix of Ted's

Remix of Regina's

Remix of Farrah's